What I Did on my Summer Vacation (with my Mother-in-Law)

Day One (Arrival and Magic Kingdom):

Not much to report for only a half day in WDW. The presence of my BIL and SIL takes a lot of the pressure off! I’ll be sorry to see them go on Monday. One fun fact: Last Tuesday, I called the hotel to make sure that our rooms were NOT ADJOINED. Well, we were. So I unadjoined them, making sure to point out that we could be next door, or across the hall or on the same floor, just not adjoining please. Well, they put us in a whole other complex. My DH was a bit upset, but I think in the end it will work out for the best. In order to make myself feel less guilty about the whole thing, I had a $70 Mickey-themed fruit basket sent to their room. My SIL thinks this makes me look good. I hope she's right.

Day Two (Animal Kingdom and Downtown Disney):

My MIL was quite consumed today with making sure that we are all next to each other in line. And she’d freak out about it extremely early, insisting large families and groups of people in matching shirts go ahead of us because one or two of us were not EXACTLY with the rest of us in line yet. “Where’s the rest of our seven?” she said more than thrice today. Calm down. We will not let you ride the water ride alone. We promise!

In other news, my BIL and SIL thought they were clever when they “announced” at lunch today that they would be adding someone to their family. They will be welcoming another Chesapeake puppy into their home. Ha ha ha. I’m crying from laughing so hard at that little joke. Seriously, I’m crying. When will they have kids so that my MIL can bother THEM for a change?

Day Three (Hollywood Studios & Epcot):

We barely saw MIL today and all kind of did our own thing. Naps were an important part of the day. Here is one funny thing I’ll tell you that my MIL likes to do. She likes to make things seem coincidental (or interesting) that aren’t really at all. Example, when we got on the bus last night to come home after our Norwegian dinner, she says, “Oh, its 10:27 and there are 7 of us!” What? She does this kind of thing all the time, which used to annoy me, but now (I’m growing up a little I guess), I think that it is amusing.

Day Four (Magic Kingdom):

BIL and SIL ended their vacation today, so the responsibility of entertaining my MIL rested upon my shoulders. We got a bit of family time in sans in-laws before the humoring of the MIL took place which included riding the most annoying ride in the world, but her “favorite!!!! I could ride it 20 times!” “it’s a small world.” Ugh.

The hardest part of the day though was the laundry! We combined a load of laundry at 11 pm and then were at the pool while it washed and dried. That’s an hour of alone time where I had to make small talk with a woman I have little in common with. It was hard because I was tired, my nice filter was off, and she doesn’t think there should be silence between two people…EVER. So that little bonding session will make Day 5 a little more difficult.

Day Five (Epcot):

As predicted, it’s Tuesday and I just don’t want to be anywhere around the MIL. There is nothing specific really that she has done today, it’s just the cumulative effect of her constant talking and her constant trying-to-be-helpfulness. She’s driving me nuts, and what’s worse, she’s driving my son nuts. I can tell because he has gets very snotty with her. I think he is annoyed with her fake stupid questions to him that she uses to fill silences. “Oh, do you think Mickey will be in our room when we get back?” He sighs, rolls his eyes and says, “NO, why would Mickey be in our ROOM!?” then I reprimand him for being a brat and secretly think, “Good, at least someone has the balls to tell her she’s annoying. “

Day Six (Animal Kingdom and Hollywood Studios)

Six days, really? I'm ready for them to go home tomorrow. I can't pretend to like her any longer. She has been on her cell phone a lot during this vacation. I must be a horrible friend, because I haven't even thought of calling any of you guys!

Day Seven (MIL leaves WDW!)

This morning was tough. On her last day to see my son, my MIL gets so weepy and whiney it is hard for me to tell who is the 5 year old and who is the 65 year old. She also starts with the “Remember when we…” and recounts the entire visit/vacation every time she opens her mouth. My son gets annoyed with this game quickly. I do too, but as mentioned earlier, I am unable to say, “Shut the F*$k up! It was yesterday, of course we remember!” The irony of this little game is that she actually does not remember anything. I had to talk her through an entire day to convince her she rode the train at Animal Kingdom. Her memory is the worst, and I’m pretty sure it’s not the onset of Alzheimer’s but merely the fact that she goes through life letting things happen rather than making things happen, so she doesn’t really have any stake in anything. Also she is so busy talking, she never actually listens which is why she doesn't remember anything we tell her. Enough pseudo-psychology.

The thing that pissed me off the most today is when she walked into our room and tried to hand us money so we would be sure to tip the maid service. “I read in the book you are supposed to tip, so here is some money.” There are a few things wrong with this act.
1) I used to be a maid in Yellowstone (Which she obviously forgot!) so I know you are supposed to tip.
2) We are not children. We know the proper etiquette of travel (which obviously she does not if she had to READ IT IN THE BOOK ON THIS TRIP!)
3) We have been leaving a tip daily, and we told her this fact. Her response was to try to force us to take the money anyway. I said, “[MIL], Please stop throwing money at us. I am sick of it and it makes me uncomfortable. We are fully capable of tipping the maid ourselves.” Of course, being afraid of confrontation she turned away and got all flustered and tried to think of something pleasant to talk about. Such is our relationship.

When we left them after breakfast, both MIL and FIL cried (per usual). I’m not a crier unless something is really sad, and leaving them was definitely not sad. The rest of the day was kind-of anticlimactic, but we had some good family time in the pool. Next time we go to Disney World, I will insist we go it alone. ☺